What are ways to enHANCE in a relationship?
There are times in all relationships when things do not go well. The following are ways to enhance relationships when things are not going well.
Be honest and trusting - Being honest with and learning to trust someone is not easy and may take time. However, it is one of the fundamental elements in establishing a healthy relationship. As you spend more time with someone and start to share experiences together, your level of trust may increase. Thus, it is necessary to spend quality time together and share your inner thoughts and feelings.
Keep communicating - Be willing to continually communicate with one another. Be willing to share your opinions and feelings. As sharing deepens between a couple, they develop a greater understanding of each other's likes and dislikes. This will help you to better understand each other and figure out what each want from the relationship.
Try to accept differences - Sometimes opposites attracts. You and your partner may have varying views or interests. To manage the differences, it is vital that you discuss them calmly and respect your partner's choices and views. Each individual is unique, so it is unreasonable to expect your partner to have totally similar interests and opinions as yours.
Respecting each other's space - While you need to spend more time together to further develop your relationship, you should also give each other space. Maintaining and building on each of your network of friends can help expand your interests and experiences. Consequently, you will have more things to share with one another to foster and spice up your relationship.
Understand yourself- It is important that you are comfortable spending time with yourself as this helps you understand yourself, and 'grow' with yourself. Spend time getting to know yourself. A good way to start is to re-discover the things you enjoy doing and to start doing them again. These can be simple things like going for a walk, listening to music or reading books by your favourite authors. You may also want to use time with yourself to self-reflect on matters that are meaningful to you presently such as what and where you want to go in life and whom you might want to spend it with, and how well you are connecting with these people.
Understanding yourself can therefore also help you understand your relationships with others and help you be more aware of your patterns of responding to situations and those around you.
Changing needs and expectations – It is normal for either of you to want and expect different things from relationships as the relationship evolves. Life transitions such as entering into workforce, marriage, etc. can impact the relationship because of your changing needs and expectations. To maintain a satisfying relationship, both of you must be prepared to discuss and negotiate these expectations.
What are some ways to resolve conflicts when in a relationship?
Communicate openly. You should freely express your views and feelings especially when you are upset about certain things. Your partner should also be encouraged to do so. At the same time, you must be willing to hear each other out and not make assumptions. The willingness and commitment to confront issues can prevent problems from getting out of hand.
Plan for a convenient time to hash out your differences. Your partner will be more willing to work out the differences with you when he or she has a say about the timing of the discussion. Rushing into a discussion simply because you feel you could not wait and discounting your partner's time constraint would likely worsen matters
Do not bring the past into a current discussion. Focus on the present issue. When you have both agreed to discuss an issue, make sure that you stay focused. Often couples tend to bring up past issues, which make it impossible to come to a resolution. Keep reminding yourself that the purpose of the discussion is to find a solution to the present issue.
Apologise when you make mistakes. To admit and accept your mistakes requires openness and courage. Your partner is more likely to appreciate such qualities and trust you more. Conversely, blaming and denying will only frustrate your partner and adversely affect the relationship.
Take a timeout before things get too heated. If you feel the anger level of either of you is rising, take a 15 minute timeout to gain a new perspective.
Thrash out issues privately. Make an agreement with your partner early on to thrash out any disagreement in a private manner. This is to avoid dragging others into your fights and putting each other on a defensive position.
Mind your words. Words have powerful impact on relationship. Think and choose your words carefully particularly when you are angry because words of anger can inflict hurt that lingers for a long time and are not easily forgotten. This is why it is important that you postpone discussing problems about the relationship when either of you is angry.
Learn to compromise. It is healthier, where possible, to have a win-win situation and one of the keys to this is through compromising. Find a middle ground, where possible on both your part. One way of doing this is for each partner to be more willing to come up with alternative solutions or modifications so as to have a greater possibility of striking a middle ground.
Accept and respect differences. There will be times that even after many discussions, you still cannot agree on something. In those instances it is wiser to agree to disagree instead of getting upset with the differences.
When you are in a middle of a disagreement, remind yourself of the importance of your partner in your life. This does not mean that you compromise your self-respect or bend over backwards for your partner. It means to keep the value of this person in your mind during an argument. This will more likely prevent you from saying or doing something which you might regret later.
Learn to forgive and let bygones be bygones. When an issue has been thrashed out and your partner has accepted his or her responsibility, it is important to learn to let go and not dig it up again.
