Are you deciding whether or not to be in a relationship?
Often people get into a relationship without giving much thought to it. It is important to decide whether having a boyfriend or girlfriend is really what you want. It is not wise to be pressurised into a relationship simply because people surrounding you are having partners.
There could be numerous reasons why a person does not want a relationship, for example, a person may:
- not be ready for a relationship yet ;
- likes to have his/her freedom;
- wants to focus on study first; and
- has not met someone suitable.
So it is OK to be single. It does not mean there is something wrong with you.
Choosing to be single gives you more time to the things that you want to do such as:
- concentrating on your studies,
- widening your social network or,
- doing sports and recreational activities.
Only you can decide if you want a relationship and you need not rush into making a decision. When making the decision, consider carefully what you are looking for in a relationship because what you want may differ from what others want.
What do you want in a relationship?
The following are some qualities to be found in a healthy relationship but they require both partners to work on them. The qualities include:
- Listening to each other when communicating
- Clear and explicit rules/boundaries, yet allowing flexibility.
- Each enjoys doing things for self, as well as for the other.
- Each does not attempt to "fix" or control the other.
- Acceptance of self and others for who they are
- Able to let go of the need to "be right".
- Confront and resolve conflict directly.
- Openness to constructive feedback.
- Trust one another.
- Balance of giving and receiving.
- Able to negotiate fairly when resolving conflicts.
- Each still has his/her free time and privacy.
- Encourage each other to grow and develop oneself.
- Assume personal responsibility for fulfilling own needs and happiness.
